In case you are curious, I was born with cataracts and an extreme condition called nystagmus. I had cataract surgery at 4 months and 6 months old and have worn glasses since. At 13, I was diagnosed with glaucoma in both eyes, which has been under control with eye drops since (well, the right eye). That same year, my retina detached in my left eye and I underwent several failed attempts to reattach it. At 30, my vitreous detached in my right eye, which ripped my retina halfway off. There I was again, undergoing surgery to reattach my retina and with my history of failures, I was scared is putting it mildly! The day after my surgery, I remember being bandaged up, the surgeon came in for a follow up visit and says, "I'm going to remove your bandages now. I'm going to shine a flashlight in your eye, if you see it, the operation was a success but if you can't see it", he paused, "I'm sorry." Thankfully, that operation was a success. At 37 I underwent enucleation of my left eye due to calcium build up between the layers of the cornea and on the interior wall. Last year, I was diagnosed with keratoconus and corneal edema in my right eye - fortunately, they have not progressed.
Anyway, getting back to where I was going before, I landed a job in medical billing at 26 years old and I was in it for 29 years. Holy sh.. that's a long time. I would wake up at 5:00am, get ready for work, not able to drive because of my eyesight, I'd walk just over a mile to the train station, take the train from Westchester County to Manhattan, take a subway, walk a couple of blocks to work and then reverse the order after a long day at work. I swore to myself that I would pick up my art or crafting again one day as a hobby.
However, as I'm sure a lot of you know, time passes and before you know it, a decade or two passes and you still haven't gotten to it. I was just so tired at night to pull out supplies, work on a project, clean up and put things away. God forbid I just left everything out. I know, this sounds like a bunch of excuses and it probably is but I can't turn back time to fix this. I've wasted time. I know! So if there is anything you can get out of this, it's don't let fear stop you from pursuing your dreams and start now, don't wait because life goes by so quickly.
 |
| I made it on the Million Dollar+ Producer list |
When I hit 35, I decided that I was determined to pursue a more creative career and I applied to F.I.T. (Fashion Institute of Technology). I assembled my portfolio and went on their intensive entry interview. I WAS ACCEPTED and I was on my way to be an interior decorator!!! Or so I thought! After just one semester, New York State required that anyone in a design program, must pursue it as a full time student. There was no way I could go to school full time. I had rent, bills and other responsibilities. Unfortunately and with great disappointment, I had to drop out. To add insult to injury, after just two years, they reversed the decision but I would have to re-apply and go through the entry interview once again. Emotionally, I wasn't willing to go through all that again and I decided to take courses in interior decorating instead. A few years later, a friend convinced me to get my real estate license and I was able to sell about 30 homes in the 5 years working as a part time REALTOR®. I combined both careers listing homes and staging them for sale. But with both interior decorating and with real estate, my 9 to 5 job dominated my time. It also makes these jobs easier if I was able to drive. Okay, showing homes wasn't so difficult, I would just cab it to meet clients for showings, but, staging/decorating was the bigger challenge. Do you know how difficult it is to go store hopping carrying shopping bags filled with throw pillows, vases and other decor items by foot? If you happened to see a man on Metro North carrying a huge palm tree taking up most of the vestibule of the car, that was me (needless to say, I was sore for a few days after that)! LOL You can't say I didn't try!
I began making candles in 2018. It started with a conversation with my partner, Orlando, about what gifts we could buy for family and friends for Christmas. I don’t know about you but for me, this task gets more difficult with every year that goes by - everyone we know has everything now! Orlando suggested buying high end scented candles and I thought that was a great idea. Seriously, who doesn’t love an amazing scented candle? You know you do, admit it! Now, for those of you who don't know me, I love to craft and make things myself! So I immediately replied, "but let's make them instead!" You got to know that idea excited me instantly and I immediately researched how to make candles. Poor Orlando, he does not like crafting at all but he was a good sport about it. I wanted them to look store bought and not "homemade", so I skipped the craft stores and went directly to candle supply companies. I'm proud to say they were a big hit with everyone and we were asked to make more a few months later.
Fast forward to 2020, two weeks before the world came to a full stop because of CoVid, I started working at a medical group in Westchester, a 15 minute bus ride from my home, I was approached by my office manager one day and she asked if I wanted to help our local hospital because they were overwhelmed with CoVid patients and short staffed. She was told I would be passing out scrubs to the doctors, nurses and other staff members who required them. So without hesitation, I volunteered to go. When I got there, the hospital needed people to work as unit clerks on several floors. I didn't expect to be assigned to one of the ICU's for CoVid patients but I went anyway. I wasn't prepared for what was in store for me. Hearing stories of and seeing images of hospitals dealing with the crisis is one thing but seeing it in the midst of all of it, is on a whole different intense level. That first day was so frightening and emotionally overwhelming but I stuck with it and was there for four months. It was an experience I will never forget and I am proud of myself for being a part of!
Once I returned back to the medical group, after my stint at the hospital, I wasn't the same anymore. I wasn't depressed but I wasn't happy either. I noticed the patients had changed, too. People had become more demanding, impatient and rude. In all the years in the medical field, I think I had 3 arguments with patients. I can honestly say, I had(have) excellent customer service skills and was able to placate the most angriest of people. But upon returning, I'd have three arguments a week and I guess my patience, for these rude patients was wearing thin, too.
I need to backtrack a little here to 2018, again. Orlando and I decided to take a weekend trip. We chose to visit Philadelphia. We had visited the City of Brotherly Love a while back and we liked it a lot - it's so rich in history. It was mid June and the weather couldn't have been any more perfect to walk the city and take in all the touristy stuff you do when visiting a place. We had a really fun time together - a well needed getaway just for ourselves alone. On Sunday morning, we decided to wake up early and go for a walk before we headed back home. On our walk, we stumbled on an Open House and decided to be nosy and take a look. It was a charming three bedroom row-house priced at $175K and the yearly property tax was only $2K. What?!?! Our jaws dropped at how cheap the home was. Toto, I don't think we are in New York, anymore! We have been saving for years to buy a home in New York and while we were able to afford a home, it was the property taxes that held us back. We certainly didn't want to be house-poor - especially at our age. "Would you consider moving out of New York?" I asked. He replied without hesitation, "Yup! I can live anywhere." A part of me was joking but a part of me was really considering the thought. I have never lived more than 20 miles from the home I grew up in, so I was shocked that I had asked, especially, knowing that Orlando is the “fly by the seat of your pants” type. Me, on the other hand, needs to think things through, make a plan of action, rethink it, create a timeline of action, alter it, ruminate, conjure up dramatic scenarios, lose sleep for days weeks, months… until I get the ball rolling. But there I was scrolling through Trulia the very next day on a mission. A couple of days later Orlando is on the couch and I'm at my desk, both thumbing through property listings, we turned to each other with excitement, “omg, check out this house, I love it!!!”, we said in unison. It turned out to be the same one. We called our friend’s Aunt, who is a REALTOR® in Philly and asked her if she would do a video tour of the house. The next day, we received it. It was better than we thought - and I called her immediately to put in an offer! The day after that, we were in contract! WTF was I thinking buying a house on a whim? But, there we were, homeowners. We knew we couldn't move at the time, so we talked it over and decided we would move to Philly in five years and use the house as a weekend getaway in the time being.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch - or in this case, the medical group, I was going through the motions in a state of numbness. I think I was experiencing a mild form of PTSD from my experience at the hospital and yet, I felt so alive there, worried about my new diagnosis with my eye, stressing over some personal family issues and dealing with the every day stresses of working in a medical office, I needed a change and soon. One morning in late October, I woke up and grabbed my phone and noticed there was several missed calls and notifications from our alarm system at the house. Apparently, the glass break sensor’s battery died, which triggered the alarm, the alarm company couldn’t get a hold of us, so they called the police. The police investigated and found no attempt of a break in - phew! But what if we did have a break in? What were we to do? It’s a two hour drive from our co-op to the house. Although, I was relieved it was a false alarm, it raised concerns of “what ifs” and my partner and I decided it would be best if we moved sooner than later. He can work remotely but I would need to find a job. He said his salary could cover us both and we could move and I could then look for a job. I was a little unsure of just moving without having something in place and said I needed some time to think it over When I get to work I overheard a conversation about me - actually, it was blaming a situation on my vision! I was shocked, hurt, and angered. I wasn’t going to be anyone’s scapegoat. I immediately opened Word and composed my resignation letter. I gave one month's notice because that office is extremely busy and I didn't want to leave my coworkers (who I worked closely with and that I liked) so abruptly.
We've been here, in Philly, for a bit over a year now and we are in enjoying our new house and neighborhood. People are so friendly here and we've become friends with some of our neighbors. We moved at just the right time, with CoVid still going strong, I think we would have killed each other in our one bedroom apartment in New York. Here, we have more room between us and we were able to spend some time outside on our porch or backyard.
My plan was to take some time off to put the house together and spend a few months to relax and regenerate before searching for a job. Some of the symptoms I've experienced with my corneal edema are blurred and foggy vision, "halos" around light sources and scratchy, itchy eye. My condition goes from no symptoms to mild and then there are days it's really bad. One time while crossing the street to head to work, my vision got so foggy, I couldn't see the streetlight turn for me to cross. Luckily, a co-worker yelled out that I could cross. When we both got to the office, she was joking around saying, damn you must be tired today, you weren't paying attention. I had explained that my vision was hazy but suddenly just got so bad, I couldn't see the traffic light. Most of the time my vision does not get that hazy, so it really scared me. Anyway, sometime early last year, Orlando approached me and said, "I was thinking, you really don't need to go back to work, my salary can cover us both. Give your eyes a rest and why don't you do something that you like that doesn't require so much reading of small print. Hey, you enjoyed making those candles, why don't you start your own candle business." Wow, I'm very lucky!
(to be continued)
| | Dennis DelBene
Owner, The Scented Home | | |
|
No comments:
Post a Comment